


Mound.

by teleiophiletitan



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Macro/Micro, Other, omorashi in chapter 4
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-26
Updated: 2015-07-22
Packaged: 2018-02-10 13:01:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2026053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teleiophiletitan/pseuds/teleiophiletitan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pound the mound.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Pound the Mound.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first ever fanfiction so please read it and tell me what you think!

Titans. That is all that’s going through Hanji’s mind right now. In fact, that’s all that ever goes through her mind most of the time. To her, Titans are the most fascinating creatures in existence - and there is so much she doesn’t know about them! Today is going to be a brilliant day, for today is when the 57th expedition outside the walls will take place. Just the thought of going out into the open and meeting all those Titans fills her with an electrifying excitement.

However, nobody is going anywhere until Eren Jaeger is found - where on earth could he be? They had been almost ready to go, when Levi had noticed that Eren was missing. When he didn’t come back after twenty minutes, a few members of the squad had been sent back into the headquarters to find him, including Hanji, as neither of Eren’s two closest friends had any idea where he had got to.

And so Hanji paced down the corridors of the Recon Corps headquarters, anxious to get going, wondering what Eren had to do that was so important… or maybe he had just forgotten about it? No, surely someone as strong-willed as him would never forget about a mission outside the walls…

Wait - what’s that sound? Hanji turns her head; it’s the sound of… someone breathing? No, it can’t be, it’s way too loud and deep to be that of a human. Could it possibly be… No, of course it can’t be a Titan! How could a Titan get past the walls and into the castle? Unless… Hanji quickens her pace towards the source of the sound…

…Until she stops outside the large wooden doors of the main hall. The strange sound is much louder, and Hanji is now almost completely certain of it’s source, although the exact reason why it is coming from the hall in unclear to her.

Cautiously she pushes open the door.

There he is! Eren is lying on his back in the middle of the hall, breathing heavily. Well, Eren as in Titan Eren. The enormous body of the Titan spans the entire length of the room, muscles glistening in the dim light.

Those muscles are… beautiful. It takes a world of effort for Hanji to admit it, but she has always felt the sort of attraction to Titans that she supposed most normal humans must feel for each other. But Hanji is not normal. And how she could possibly have sex with a Titan is beyond her imagination.

Upon her entering the room, the Titan raises his head slightly so that his luminous green eyes are staring directly at her. She slowly walks forward.

"Eren?" She asks with concern in her voice. "Are you alright?"

As if maybe to answer her, he reaches over to where she is standing and lifts her up in his gigantic hand. It is so huge that she nearly fits completely inside it. He carefully moves his hand over to… his crotch? Well, if it can be called a crotch, that is, for there’s nothing there - there’s just a Mound.

The Rogue Titan places Hanji down onto the… the Mound. His eyes are still fixed intently on her, as if… as if he wants her to do something with it.

"What the hell am I supposed to do with this?” She exclaims in frustration, for the Mound to her is so delicious-looking, and yet she has no idea how a Titan would… use it’s Mound.

The Titan is silent, but he keeps staring intently at her. “What?” She asks again, and when he still doesn’t respond, she experimentally crouches down and touches the Mound with her bare hands.

It feels… it feels firm. Like the normal flesh of a human, actually. She finds that she rather likes the feel of it, so she starts to stroke it softly.

Abruptly the Titan starts making noises. Strange, low growling noises. She stops stroking the Mound for fear of upsetting Eren, and looks back up at him.

However, the look on the Rogue Titan’s face is one of satisfaction, and his mouth moves up at the edges as if he is smiling at her. He nods his head slightly as if to say “carry on”, and lifts his arm up to make a squeezing motion with his hand.

It suddenly dawns on Hanji what he wants. Eren had led her here so that she would do this, because he had known that she is the only person who would willingly approach a Titan. She looks down at the Mound - although the muscle there is firm, the skin feels incredibly soft and tender. And the noises he was making - those were noises of pleasure; he had wanted her to touch the Mound all along.

So she crouches down once more and squeezes the mound with both hands. The Titan starts making the noises again; yes, they are definitely noises of pleasure. She massages the soft skin with her knuckles, and Eren’s moans get progressively louder and louder. Harder and faster she pounds the Mound, the Titan lets out a tremendous roar of pure pleasure, and then -

"Hanji? Eren? What are you doing?" The voice of Corporal Levi comes from the doorway.


	2. Sound of the Mound.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hanji finally finds out how Titans ejaculate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually based this on a dream I had once.

The sun shines down on them as if to mock their anger. Anger at the expedition having to be delayed. Frustration at having to wait for Eren to grow his limbs back. And, though being felt exclusively by Hanji, guilt.

At first she had felt embarrassed upon being caught by Corporal Levi. Now all she felt was guilt; a deep, sickening guilt that had made her want to fade out of existence.

For a long while - far to long for Hanji's comfort - Levi had just stared at them, the human and the Titan, completely speechless. Then, his voice coating every syllable with utter disgust, he had exclaimed, "Hanji, were you... PLEASURING Eren's Titan?"

Hanji's whole body had shook as she had began to realise the abhorrence of what she had been doing; Titans were the enemy, humans were not supposed to... DO anything with them except kill them! In a blind panic she had stammered, "Levi, I - I didn't mean to, I - please, please, PLEASE don't tell Commander Erwin!"

The Corporal had looked at her for a long time, and Hanji had been terrified that he would inform the entire Recon Corps about what she had been doing to Eren. Then, going against all her anxieties, he had ordered in his usual tone of nonchalance, "I'll stay here with Eren while you go and inform the others that he has been found. It's going to take a lot of us to cut him out."

Whether he had wanted to spare her the pain of having everyone within the headquarters knowing about her attraction to Titans, or simply because he wanted to get on with the expedition and informing the Commander about the incident would only slow them down even further, Hanji did not know. All she knew was that she now felt an infinite gratitude towards Levi, and she vowed to herself that she would never do it ever again.

Little did she know, however, that that vow was soon to be broken.

A loud clamour coming from the area to the right of Hanji's squad and several flares suddenly shooting up into the sky on the horizon signal that something is not right. Is it more Titans? They had encountered a fair amount of Titans since they had left the walls, but so far they had destroyed them all without any major problems.

The noises continue. Wait a minute - it sounds like... Eren. Like Eren is in trouble.

Before Hanji even has time to realise what she is doing, she and her horse are heading towards the source of the commotion. Her mind is telling her that there is no way she should abandon her post so suddenly, that surely Levi's squad would deal with any problems that have occurred... But no matter what thoughts go through her head, she keeps on moving towards where the Rogue Titan's roars are coming from.

When she arrives there, however, the sight she beholds is like nothing she has ever seen before. Eren is, in Titan form, lying on his back on the ground, surrounded by the mutilated bodies of Titans which he has presumably just destroyed. It is impossible for Levi's squad to cut Eren out of the Titan body while he is in this position, as the nape of his neck is facing the ground and there is no way of turning him over, not with his limbs writing and clawing at the sky in apparent agony.

"How did he get like this?" Hanji asked Levi, whose squad seems to have followed Eren an awfully long distance out of the original formation planned by Commander Erwin.

"I don't know, do I?" Levi retorts coldly. "He just suddenly became a Titan and took off into the wilderness. You're the Titan expert - what should we do?"

"Don't worry." Hanji answers as calmly as she can, although she herself has no idea what they are supposed to do in this situation, as nothing like this has ever happened before in the history of the Recon Corps. On the spur of the moment she turns to look up the Titan's face and calls out, "Eren? Can you hear me?"

Eren does not respond, merely continuing his display of frustration.

Wait a minute - frustration? Hanji has a sudden idea. It would mean her breaking her own promise, and that the whole squad would think her to be insane, but at present she simply cannot see any other option.

So she moves cautiously round the body of the enraged Titan, taking care not to make contact with his flailing limbs. Then at long last, she is facing the Mound. Her suspicions are only confirmed when she notes that the skin of the Mound is red and angry-looking.

"Eren?" She calls one last time, but as she expects, Eren is too busy displaying his fit of sexual frustration to hear her. She then moves as close as she can to the Mound, reaches out her hand, and gently strokes the sensitive skin.

Eren is immidiately quiet, save for his deep, heavy breaths. However, he does not get up from his position of lying flat on the grass, and so Hanji has no choice but to pound the Mound from the ground.

She starts hitting the Mound with her fists, and occasionally she gives it a hard kick with one of her feet.

"This is what you wanted, wasn't it, Eren?" She asks the Titan, although he doubts whether he can actually hear her over his increasingly loud grunts of satisfaction. "You'd nearly reached your peak, hadn't you? But then Levi walked in and spoiled it all for you! I'm sure the frustration must have been unbearable, especially for a big strong Titan like you! That's why you threw a fit, because of all your hormones building up. Never mind that now, though - a few days ago I had never even imagined the possibility of a Titan being able to feel pleasure, and now I am honoured to be able to watch you reach your peak! I hope you're excited, Eren, because I certainly am!"

Although Eren can make out what Hanji is saying to him, there is no way that he can respond. Every time Hanji hits or grinds the Mound, he can't help but moan as loud as is humanly - or Titanly - possible.

For Hanji, the feeling of pounding the Mound is completely exhilarating. To hear the Rogue Titan's roars, and to know that they are roars of pleasure rather than of pain - who cares if Levi's squad are all around them, watching in horror and disgust? Hanji doesn't need humans - no, all she needs is Titans; beautiful, fascinating, sexy Titans...

Suddenly Eren lets out the loudest roar Hanji has ever heard - loud enough for her to wonder whether the Titans on the other side of the world can hear him. However, before she has time to even comprehend the sight before her, a small hole opens up in the middle of the Mound, as if by magic. Hanji shrieks with joy as a thick, white liquid shoots out of the hole and completely drenches her uniform. She licks her lips - the Titan sperm tastes delicious!

"Ah... aaaahhh..." Eren breathes as he comes down from his high, slowly rolling onto his back, and Hanji knows without even looking that there is an expression of pure bliss on the Titan's face.

Satisfied, she pats the Mound with the palm of her hand; her work here is done. The other squad members can cut Eren out - she is off to get cleaned up, but not before she has sampled this intriguing Titan sperm. She knows everyone in the Recon Corps will think she is a complete lunatic, but then again, haven't they always thought that about her?


	3. Mound on the Ground.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Romantic dinner with a Titan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Continuing with the 'Mound' theme, only this time it's the owner of the Mound that changes. Writing this chapter has left me questioning my sexuality.

The clock strikes seven. She glances down once more at the note in her hand:

_Hanji,_

_Meet me in the hall at 7 tonight. Wear whatever you want._

_Your Titan,_

_Eren._

Hanji had at first been overjoyed upon receiving the letter, but now she is more than a little nervous. Is this a date? Will she see the Mound again? The thought of touching that soft, tender flesh makes her stomach fill up with bubbles.

 _Wear whatever you want_ \- she had interpreted this as a chance to wear her favourite suit, because personally she feels that she never wears it often enough. The black jacket, trousers and white shirt all fit her perfectly, and just before opening the door, she pauses to reapply her ruby-red lipstick.

She opens the door. She gasps and her blood rushes.

The Rogue Titan is sitting at a candle-lit table, on which is a large chunk of meat (probably beef) and a plate of roast dinner. Hanji is amazed - Eren must have set all of this up and then transformed afterwards; how on earth did he get permission to do all of this?

She decides to play it cool, though, and greets the Titan with a flirtatious, "Hello, handsome."

Eren grins in response, and - is he  _purring_?! This is fascinating; Hanji never knew Titans could do that! He gestures with his colossal hand towards the food, and so Hanji gratefully moves to sit at the table.

The food is absolutely delicious! "Did you make this yourself, Eren?" She asks in amazement as she gazes lustfully through the candlelight at the Titan, who is licking his meat seductively with his gigantic tongue. Eren nods, although Hanji's mind is now focused on that tongue; what else could it do, besides licking meat?

When Hanji has finished her meal, Eren devours his meat hungrily, serving only to turn her on even more. The Titan catches her eye and gives her a teasing look in response, as if to say, "You want me?"

Before she even realises it, a loud moan escapes from her throat, but at this point she doesn't even care any more. Eren simply winks at her and gestures over to the left side of the room.

For the first time, Hanji realises that in the dim light there is a bed waiting for her. The covers look so soft and warm... although at the moment, sleep is the last thing on her mind.

"Oh?" She inquires, her voice dripping with thick lust. "You want to go to bed with me?"

"Mm-hmm." The Titan replies with as much desire as she.

"Alright then, since you've behaved so nicely for me this evening." Hanji moves over to lie down on the bed, lying on her back so that she is looking up at the ceiling of the hall. Eren shifts himself so that he is now crouched looking over her.

She looks up at the most ravishing sight she has ever seen: the Rogue Titan is gazing down at her through lust-filled eyes, his hot breath tousling her hair; his long ears, his square jaw, his magnificently toned muscles make him look like sex on legs.

He runs an enormous finger all the way down her body, causing a shiver of pleasure to travel the length of her spine. He then repeats the motion, only this time his finger stops in between Hanji's legs and rest there for a moment, before softly stroking her there - who knew a Titan could be this gentle!

"Eren..." Hanji breathes, her voice full of need, "Eren, stop teasing me... just take me... take me  _now_..."

He raises an eyebrow playfully - or at least he would if he had any eyebrows - and lightly tugs at the waistband of Hanji's trousers. Obediently she undoes her belt, revealing her black lacy underwear, the sight of which makes the Titan purr and drool. Large drops of saliva fall onto and all around the bed, as Eren caresses the lace with surprising delicacy.

"You like them, do you?" Hanji grins playfully. "I put these on just for you."

Eren's mouth widens and he leans forward before licking her crotch. His tongue is gigantic and even if she weren't covered in Titan saliva, she would still be absolutely soaking wet. He strokes her with his fingers a little longer, and then he gives into impatience and starts tugging at her waistband.

"OK, OK, I know how much you want me." She answers his pleading whines with a glint in her eyes - he's practically begging her now to remove her knickers. "You're such a naughty Titan, teasing me like this when you should be on your best behaviour serving the other Squad Leaders. There - have you ever seen  _this_ before?"

The Rogue Titan stares down in wonder, his eyes wide with desire, his breathing so heavy that Hanji's heart starts pounding even faster.

"Look - it's a Mound just like yours, but a little bit different. Do you like it?"

A loud, low groan erupts from Eren's throat, and all Hanji can do is hope that all the other members of the Recon Corps are far enough away in the headquarters not to hear the noises of an aroused Titan.

Slowly and carefully Eren reaches out a finger, and with more accuracy than Hanji could ever have imagined he finds her clitoris and leisurely strokes it, making her shudder and moan in pleasure.

"Oh  _Eren_ \- where... where did you learn to do this? Are... are there... are there lady Titans or somethi- _Oooohhhhhhhhhhhhhh_ _..._ " Suddenly Eren licks her with that amazing tongue, a large sweeping motion which soaks her every inch and fills her entire body with ecstasy.

He licks her five, ten - at least  _twenty_ times, and each time Hanji moans and gasps, for this is the most pleasure she has ever felt in her life. This is much better than having sex with a  _human_ ; she had always found that dull and unsatisfying. She had never in her wildest dreams thought that she would ever be able to have a  _Titan_ do this to her!

"Eren - Eren, I'm about to... Eren, I'm-" However, before she reaches her peak, the Titan stops licking her. He pauses for several moments, staring down at the perfect mess beneath him: Hanji's clothes are stained and crumpled, her hair falling down her shoulders, a look of pure rapture in her eyes. He pauses, and then he rolls up his tongue and plunges in once more, only this time he doesn't lick her.

Hanji cries out; the pain and the pleasure are both so intense as his tongue enters her vagina, twisting and turning, pulling out and then slamming back in again, the Titan's hot breath enveloping her so that every part of her is dripping with sweat. Deep gurgles emerge from his throat, mixing with Hanji's yells of, "Yes! Oh, _yes_ Eren! You bad Titan, you're such a bad boy!"

Then she is overcome by a wave of intense pleasure and before she even realises it, the orgasm overcomes her and she cums onto the Rogue Titan's tongue, with tears in her eyes and every bone in her body aching and her mind dizzyingly ecstatic.

When she has finished she collapses down onto the bed and Eren's tongue gathers up the cum and he swallows it with an extremely satisfied expression on his face. Hanji just lies there panting, completely spent after what was most certainly the best time of her life. In the back of her head she remembers reading something in a very old and very confusing book about Titans and human bodily fluids... but that was ages ago and in all honesty who cares: she's just has the best sex of her life with the sexiest Titan on the planet - what more could she possibly want?


	4. Mound that was Found.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hanji and Levi take the piss out of Eren. Quite literally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is based on two dreams that I had. Hopefully I will come off the prescription drugs at some time in the future.

It isn’t until seven days have passed since the dinner that the human Eren Jaeger knocks on the door of Hanji Zoe’s office.

Hanji has to admit that the ‘normal Eren’ is rather cute. Ever since the Rogue Titan had shown an interest in her, the boy that controls him has slowly grown on her until she has begun to like him almost as much as she likes the Titan himself. She’s always thought that the boy's large eyes are really sweet, and he also has such a lovely smile.

However, Eren isn’t smiling as he moves to sit down at Hanji’s desk. He appears to be worried about something, and so she asks him what is wrong.

“I haven’t peed in a week.” He answers, his voice full of anxiety.

“What? You must be very desperate, then!” Hanji replies, and immediately regrets doing so as she sees the boy begin to look even more upset.

“No, it’s not that!” Eren exclaims in frustration. “I’m _not_ desperate, that’s the thing: whenever I… _go_ … nothing comes out! My bladder feels completely empty! I came to you because I thought you might know what to do.”

“Hmm…” Hanji thinks this over of a moment, and then suggests, “Are you hydrated enough? You’ve been drinking enough water, haven’t you?”

“Of course – I’ve been drinking as much as, if not _more_ than, I usually do.”

“How very strange… can you remember the last time you urinated?”

“Yes, it was… it was right before our, er… _dinner_.”

Suddenly the boy’s words bring back a faint memory into Hanji’s mind. Something she read an extremely long time ago… but no matter how hard she tries, she simply can’t remember what it was; only that it was written in a very old book which she had deemed to be completely nonsensical, as the majority of the text was pretty much unreadable. Something about Titans… swallowing… and fluid… Nope. It’s gone. There’s no way she can recall something which is most likely of no importance whatsoever.

Hanji and Eren both eventually come to the conclusion that the pounding of the Mound has somehow improved Eren’s metabolism, as well as his general wellbeing. This conclusion makes Hanji eager to try out some more experiments on Eren, and as the young Titan shifter is due to undertake some tests today, they both decide to get started immediately.

Once they are outside on the experiment field and everyone is ready, Hanji starts with taking Eren’s temperature. The result is 37.2°C, which does not do much to support Hanji’s theory about Eren’s metabolism; if the boy isn’t producing any waste, then his temperature would surely be through the roof.

Next, Hanji makes Eren lift up his shirt so that she can apply pressure to his lower abdomen. Trying not to be distracted by the boy’s surprisingly developed muscles, she places her hand over where his bladder is and slowly but firmly presses down. She then asks Eren if he feels any discomfort, to which he replies that he doesn’t.

After a while, Hanji begins to wonder whether the events at the dinner have had any effect on the human Eren at all, other than his being apparently unable to urinate.

Wait a minute: the _human_ Eren. So, what about the _Titan_ Eren, then? Perhaps the boy’s Titan form has undergone some changes.

So Hanji makes Eren transform.

To her confusion, as soon as the Rogue Titan appears, he immediately sprints toward the nearby forest as if his life depends on it.

Worried, Hanji decides to follow him. As she enters the trees, she begins to make out the shape of the Titan. He is standing with his back to her, leaning backwards slightly, his muscles relaxed, almost as if he is…

Then all of a sudden he is no longer relaxed: he is grunting and panting and his muscles are straining with pressure. As Hanji nears him, he gives a panicked cry of frustration and the next thing she knows he is doubled over in what looks like extreme pain.

“Eren?!” Hanji calls up to him in growing concern. “Are you alright? What’s wrong?”

Eren doesn’t answer, unless you can call his moans of “Uh… uh… uuuhhhhh…” an answer. She is facing him now and she can see that he is clutching the Mound as if it pains him greatly, and now his whole body beings to shudder violently. She knows from instinct that this is definitely _not_ sexual frustration: she can tell for sure that it is _pain_.

“Oi, Eren! What’s wrong, brat?” Hanji turns to find that Levi is standing behind her. She gives him a look of gratitude, then calls up to Eren:

“Eren, does it hurt? Is it a sharp pain?” She asks, trying desperately to work out what is wrong with him.

Then, to her surprise, the Titan shakes his head.

“You mean… you mean it’s _not_ pain?” She asks in confusion.

“What is it then, Eren?” Levi calls to him. “You’re not just doing this for fun, are you?” But even _he_ can tell that something is definitely wrong with Eren.

The Titan looks at the two of them with an intense distress in his eyes, wondering how on earth he is supposed to communicate with the squad leaders in he can’t even speak. Then suddenly he has an idea: still clutching the Mound, he begins to dance from foot to foot, making a sort-of whimpering noise. Despite this, Hanji is still confused.

“What’s that, Eren?” Levi asks the Titan. “You need a wee-wee?”

Hanji turns round suddenly. “That’s _it_ , Levi!” She cries in triumph. “ _That’s_ why he hasn’t peed in a week: it’s all been building up inside his Titan form!”

“ _WHAT_?!” Levi exclaims incredulously. “How the hell did he manage that?!”

It is then that Hanji remembers what she read in that textbook all those years ago. “It’s because he ate my – er… wait, never mind. We need to take the piss out of Eren – literally! It’s got nowhere to go after all.”

“And how do you suppose we we’re going to do that?” Levi asks sceptically.

Hanji thinks for a moment. “I, er…” Then it hits her: the hole that had appeared last time she pounded the Mound. It only appeared when Eren was at his peak. She looks at her colleague and says firmly, “We’re going to pound the Mound.” 

 

After a few minutes of persuasion, Hanji manages to get the desperate Titan to lie down on his back. However, he is still covering the Mound with both of his hands, still trembling with the pressure being put on his Titan bladder.

“Eren,” Hanji speaks to him softly, yet loud enough for him to hear her properly, “we need you to let go of yourself. I know it hurts, but it won’t come out unless we help you reach your climax.”

The Rogue Titan whines in protest at first, but eventually he goes against his instinct and lowers his enormous hands.

Both squad leaders stare at the Mound in shock: it is red and swollen to over twice its normal size. The tender skin is stretched over what must be at least a week’s worth of urine. When Hanji presses her hand against the Mound, she can feel the warm liquid underneath the skin, and she cannot begin to imagine how desperate the Rogue Titan must be.

Hoping that she will be able to put Eren out of his pain as quickly as possible, Hanji grabs an area of the Mound with both hands and begins to move her thumbs over the sensitive skin in little circles.

“Ah… ah… ah…” The Titan grunts as Hanji glances over to where Levi stands, still staring at the Mound with a horrified expression on his face.

“Come on, Levi!” She urges him. “Do you want to help Eren or not?”

Levi makes an expression that suggests he would rather die than lay a single finger on that disgusting thing. “But it’s _filthy_!” He protests.

“But Eren needs you!” Hanji begs him, as it becomes more and more apparent that what she alone was doing to the Mound was simply not enough. “Surely you’ve noticed how much he looks up to you? I mean, the way he acts around you sometimes – it’s almost as if he _fancies_ you!”

Levi freezes, with a stunned look on his face. “…Really?” He asks, after a moment of trying to remember how to speak again.

Hanji doesn’t answer, but just says encouragingly: “Come on, Levi – Eren will be really grateful if you help him out!”

Slowly at first, then more confidently, Levi steps over to the Mound. He’s always hated Titans, thinks they are the most disgusting creatures on the planet, but Eren… Eren is different. Levi likes Eren, likes him a lot. Maybe he even _loves_  him. He can’t leave him to suffer like this.

He reaches out and touches the skin of the Mound, and it feels like an electric current is coursing through is body. He strokes it as if he is caressing silk, as he hears Eren’s moans getting louder and louder. He presses his lips to the skin and sucks. It tastes wonderful, like nothing that has ever crossed his pallet in his whole life. A loud moan vibrates through his throat, and then he feels the ground begin to shake beneath his feet, realising that Eren is letting out a tremendous roar as he reaches his climax.

“Look out, he’s gonna blow!” Hanji calls from the other side of the Mound, but she might as well have been on the other side of the universe.

Then suddenly, Levi is blasted with a jet of hot liquid. It completely drenches both his hair and his clothes before he works out what’s happening and jumps out of the way.

Once he is clear of the torrent, he wipes his eyes and looks back in horror: an enormous jet of urine is exploding from out of the Mound, and is currently drenching everything within a ten metre radius. Levi is horrified: he looks and smells absolutely disgusting!

The explosion seems to go on for at least ten minutes – no wonder the brat was in so much pain! – and when at last it subsides, the Rogue Titan lets out an enormous sigh of relief: “AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

Levi turns to look around for Hanji, and spots her on the other side of the enormous puddle that has now formed in front of the Mound – and she is completely dry!

When Hanji sees the state which Levi is in, she starts shrieking with laughter. Levi has never wanted to commit murder more than at that single moment in time.

* * *

 

A few days later, after Eren has fully recovered from his ordeal, he is back in Hanji’s office, discussing the incident.

“So it turns out,” Hanji says, “that the ingestion of bodily fluids alone – that is, _without_ eating the whole human – can be very bad for Titans. And now we know why.”

“Thanks again for helping me.” Eren replies gratefully. “But what about Levi? I honestly thought he was going to murder both of us back there, but when we got back to the headquarters, he didn’t do or say anything – I mean, he was almost _calm_!”

“Yes.” Hanji nodds knowingly. “I think that was because he realised something back there: he does care about you a lot, you know.”

Eren gasps. “You mean he…?”

“Yes. Levi has lost a lot of people who were close to him in the past, and I think he simply needs a bit of warmth.”

Eren thinks for a moment, and then he has an idea: “Hey, Hanji – why don’t we all have a date together? You, me in my Titan form, and Levi? That would be great, don’t you think?”

“Yes,” Hanji smiles, “I think it would.”


End file.
